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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 11/20/2007
Posts: 1
Location: us
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I have just recently broken up with my fiance. It has been a really difficult month for me. We were planning on getting married in December and I have been planning on moving in with him and starting our lives together. No matter what I do I cant stop thinking about what went wrong. He tells me the reason for him calling it off was that he thought he was losing feelings for me. This is really hard to deal with because i love him so much and it makes me feel as though I was not good enough for him. My family hasbeen great in supporting me through this diffcult time but it is really hard to get through. Has anyone been through this type of heartbreak? What did you do to help get through the pain?
-em
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/9/2007
Posts: 2
Location: us
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i can relate to your heartbreak. i recently also broke up with my boyfriend and it has been really difficult. the hardset part for me is that during my day there are alot of things that remind me of him, so the breakup is constantly on my mind. thats good that you are staying close to your family. they will help you through the hard times. good luck!
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/11/2007
Posts: 107
Location: Northwoods of Wisconsin - BEAUTIFUL country
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It really is a mind set. If you set your mind to getting over him, you will. What makes it difficult is the secret desire that just maybe he will change his mind, so you hang on to the memories and feelings. Once you decide and accept that it is definitely over you put the past in the past and focus on today and the things you are going to do to start your life again.
It isn't easy but it does get easier. Set your mind to it and you will be able to get over him.
My first love took me over 6 years to get over him because I was always wanting him back. When I finally accepted that he was not coming back, I realized I was already half over him. Every once in a while when I look back there is still a twinge of the old heartache. I just don't allow it to take over. I have a future and it isn't with him.
It only hurts when you think about it. He broke it off because of HIS feelings. You have no control over what another person feels. When you can accept it you can move on.
happy thoughts.......
peggy m
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/13/2007
Posts: 55
Location: Hyde Park, MA
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I know that it hurts, but at least he told you now, because the marriage would have been a disaster.
When you truly love someone it never really goes away.. But in time it will get easier. You just have to keep yourself busy and hang out with family as well as friends. Go out and meet new people and enjoy life, or find a hobby... Staying at home, just makes it that much harder, because all you are going to do is think and get depressed.... You need to hold your head up high and keep on moving. Think of it as being his loss. He threw away something good and he will never find that again...
In time that special someone that is meant just for you, will come into your life and sweep you off your feet....
Good luck and God Bless!
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/17/2007
Posts: 245
Location: Florida
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So sorry for your pain, i know how that feels.when you give someone your heart they are suppose to take yours and you take his . This is what i did. I did everything in my power to make her happy.We were together for 2 years and it was the greatest two years of my life.And just like you, you dont understand what you did wrong, you can bat your head against the wall, but you will never have a answer too it.You have too not blame yourself and try to move on. I had to stop listening to music because if a song came on i would cry yes this guy cried.I just stayed busy and this is why i work all the time out of my house..You have to try too focus on everything but him..Your heart feels so broken but it will mend.It takes time.I can listen too music now but not when that special songs come on,i turn the station.See your heart will mend but you will never forget.Go out and be with your friends, friends understand and they also will help you through this just as your parents are. I didnt have parents to lean on, i lost them years ago. I even so called went into the closet and forgot about the outside world but that only does more damage, so please just move on and believe me the busier you are the better off you will be..Keep your mind busy so you dont have time too think..And you didnt do anything wrong, for whatever reason , maybe it just wasnt meant to be.Hope everything goes well for you.Take care.
Rocky
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/13/2007
Posts: 55
Location: Hyde Park, MA
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When you truly love someone, it is always hard to get over them, but in time things will get easier...
We always think that things are going to work out, but the reality of it is, that everything you do in life and people you are with is all a chance we take... Then what do you do? You learn from it... Everything you go through is all a lesson learned....
Think of it as it being his loss... Hold your head up high and move on... Turn the negative into a positive. When you least expect it, the right person will come into your life...... Just keep the faith. All of this will just make you a wiser and stronger person for anything or anyone that comes your way....
I suggest you go out with friends and family and keep yourself busy... Find a hobby.
As much as it hurts you now, it is better that he told you now before you got married....
Good Luck and God Bless!
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/28/2007
Posts: 2
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I think a break up can hurt as much as a dealth. I had the same experience last year. My boyfriend of 1 year and 1/2 told me 5 days before Christmas that he felt he was not having feelings for me any more.
My heart was crushed. I thought I was not good enough. I thought maybe "if I would of..?" but you can not change the way some one feels. That is a hard lesson to teach your self.
Keep busy is all the advice I can give. Even a year later I still think about him.
I hope you have a more happy 2008.
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