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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 11/20/2007
Posts: 1
Location: us
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my BF cheated on me 2 months ago and i dont know why he did it. he says he loves me and i dont know if i believe him or not. i cant decide if he has lost feeling for me and that caused him to cheat or if it was just a random act and he will never do it again. i have been trying to ask him and he says he still loves me. how can i know if he is telling the truth?
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/7/2007
Posts: 2
Location: nd
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sometimes guys just make mistakes. you should really question whether or not he loves you and if you think that he does then he is worth keeping around. if i thought that my BF still loved me i would give him a chance again
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/10/2007
Posts: 6
Location: north carolina
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if he really loved you then he wouldnt have cheated in the first place, if he thought there was a problem or something lacking in the relationship then he should have talked it out with you so that the issue  were brought out in the open and the both of you could come up with a solution to solving it, his cheating didnt solve anything because the underlying problems that were there before he cheated are still there, he may be saying he loves you but it wasnt enough for him not to cheat and he could potentially do it again unless you find out and correct what made him want to do it in the first place, everyone does make mistakes but he knew what he was doing in the first place and should be accountable for his own actions, he cheated because of his own free will regardless of whether you think it is your fault and for that you shouldnt blame yourself
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/11/2007
Posts: 107
Location: Northwoods of Wisconsin - BEAUTIFUL country
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Once betrayed, it is difficult to trust again. The doubts will linger. Here is where the hardest part is yet to come. Can you forgive him and trust him again?
If you are having a difficult time believing his answers, then it is not going to get resolved. It won't matter what he has to say if you are not willing to let the past stay in the past and give him the benefit of the doubt. Can you let it go so you can believe him and trust him?
Every man I have ever been in love with (except my current husband) has cheated on me. The first couple of times I tried to forgive and work things out. I finally had to be honest. I had a zero tolerance for cheating. The trust was simply gone. In my mind, cheating is a choice, not a mistake. It only becomes a mistake if it doesn't work out the way the cheater thought it would. If he had connected with this woman, you would no longer be in the picture.
Some women can let it go and stay in that relationship. I'm just not one of them.
The reasons for the cheating do need to be resolved.... that's on your boyfriends table to deal with. You did not force him to cheat. He cheated because he wanted to.
happy thoughts.......
peggy m
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Rank: Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 11/14/2007
Posts: 14
Location: Texas
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thats the kind of stuff that can mess up someone's mind. you can allow it to shape the way you think about your partner, or else your next partner will pay the price.
dont blame someone elses mistakes on yourself
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/17/2007
Posts: 245
Location: Florida
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Sorry about your bf but once a cheater always a cheater i believe, you shouldnt be the one asking yourself what you did wrong for him to cheat, he is just a cheater, they just cheat when given a chance. I dont want to sound like a a-hole but you really need to move on with your life and dont stay and get hurt more. Two people in love cherish the time they have together, not abusing their love with others.
Rocky
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/18/2007
Posts: 3
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this is not something you jsut let slide, and this is coming from someone who did it - ME, after reading this conversation i feel like an idiot. they are right
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/13/2007
Posts: 55
Location: Hyde Park, MA
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There is no way of knowing if he's telling the truth. Only his actions will tell you... If he made a mistake and is truly sorry, then give him a chance. If he does it again, then you know what you have to do....
In my opinion, when two people truly love each other, such a betrayal should not occur. But sometimes circumstances arise and people don't realize what they have until they make that mistake...
Give him a chance but don't settle for any less. If he does it again, give him the boot..... Everyone deserves a partner who is going to be truthful, faithful and respectful.....
Good Luck!
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