My girlfriend and I have been on and off for about three years now.. mostly on until about a year ago when we had broke up but had still been talking, she had told me on the phone that she "wouldnt get mad if i hooked up with anyone else". I in turn took this as she wanted to see other people herself. which lead to me hooking up with another girl, of course she found out and had called me crying and saying that i had cheated on her and so on. but nonetheless we got back together within two weeks. and for about 4 months everything seemed fine, but she had planned a cruise months before hand. And of course you can imagine what happened.. when she came home her attitude toward me was completely different and she wouldnt come near me affectionately, she seemed really distant in every way. She had been talking to one of the guys from the cruise through facebook.com and I knew in my gut what happened. so i put two and two together and broke up with her and thought that was the en! d. three months down the road we somehow ended up talking again and got back together. and for the first four months everything was fine, the love/affection/comunication... everything. but that abruptly changed in the beginning of the summer out of nowhere. she started going out with her friends and when id ask where she was going or what she was doing she'd give really brief and vague answers like "nothing" or "just with my friends".. and i was reading the general advice section of the cheating test and everything matches to the tee lack of interest in the relationship annoyed and frustrated when together, and we no longer did any thing as a couple the only time we spent was alone. and even physically when were together she'll push me away at all costs if i so much as go in for a kiss or try to be affectionate. sexually we were always into eachother but she all of a sudden wasnt into me in that way either. its been like this ever since with the constant arguing and such an! d that was months ago. Ive questioned her several times about our rela tionship, but when i talk about us she either gets really defensive or closes up like a clam and wont say anything at all... it never was like this before; we were always able to talk about anything especially our relationship. and lately all she does is make me feel put down and unnapreciated. because im still trying to make it work. but it seems the more i try the less she cares. ive tried breaking up with her on several occasions because i cant stand feeling hurt all the time. but somehow she always finds a way to keep me holding on. when i put her personality through the cheating test it came out and said that she was not likely to cheat on me.. even though she matches all the criteria for being a cheater.. Is it likely that ive been cheated on again since her escapade on the cruise? and why would she keep fighting to stay in the relationship if shes only bound to turn around and treat me like garbage as she so makes me feel?

Intense? I bet! Not to make a joke, but thats one intense dance you guys have been having around each other. Frist thing to realize is how this wonderful thing we call love really works. Its a primitive thing, a raw thing, its job, to excite all emotions and feelings that you feel, it is what makes you feel! So trust, she loves you. But the trick you need to concetrate on is the "how" she choices to love you (how she FEELS about you), thats were things can began to make sense. See she doesn't really know how, and neither do you, don't get offened, you've been bumping your head against this constantly in those 3 years. The point is that you guys need to get to that point were you can talk about how you feel you need to be love. Right now, your sort of dancing around it. Here behavior seems classical of a person in love, but not always liking who their in love with. Your acting the same, so really you guys need to dive into that life history and know that you guys can turn to each other. More I can say, but I'd have to know more personal stuff about you and her and why your grabing on to each other.....

Just had to put this up there, just a quote, but right up the ally of what were saying, old chineese proverb (yep those chinesse are a smart butch)


"Friends can make wonderful lovers, but lovers rarly ever become good friends"

Hi italia,
talking about the test you took and you said it says she wont cheat on you, you have to understand YOU answered the questions not HER. So of course the answer would be different. You could feel she cheated on you when she went on the cruise plus she acted like she didnt even know you when she got back. This was when you should of move on with your life. Once a cheater , she always will be one. The reason why when you break up and she wants you back is because she cant stand if you get hooked up with someone else, and this is why not because she wants you back, she wants your heart too crush it and make sure you are hooked only on her. I would just walk and dont turn back..She is only going to hurt you so bad that you wont know what too do anymore.

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Rocky