Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 11/16/2007
Posts: 1
Location: ny
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i just ended a year relationship with mandy, my girlfriend. the reason that we broke up is that mandy cheated on me while we were together. we had a great year and had so much fun and i have so many great memrories of her. during our relationship we would tell each other "i love you". looking back on things i really dont think that i loved her and that it was a HUGE mistake to say those words to her. iw iwsh i could take that back. how do you really know if you are in love?
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/11/2007
Posts: 107
Location: Northwoods of Wisconsin - BEAUTIFUL country
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I think you may have loved her at the time but those feelings cooled and when you look back you don't feel what you felt back then.
I believe that love is thoughts and feelings you have that creates a desire to be with that person. When the desire to be with that person is no longer present, neither are the thoughts and feelings that created the desire. (I am not including other factors that are present in unhealthy relationships that will give an illusion of love. That's a whole other topic.)
Bottom line is: Healthy or not, if you THINK you love that person, you do. When you THINK you no longer love that person, you don't. I really do have a simple approach to love.
happy thoughts.......
peggy m
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 12/17/2007
Posts: 245
Location: Florida
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Hi
You probably did love her when you told her that, but when someone cheats on someone, it doesnt mean you dont love them its just you hate what they have done..It hurts and will hurt for a long time.
You stated you look back on the wonderful memories, that really tells me you still love her, but you probably just dont understand in your mind why could she do such a thing, noone knows except her.Do you see her anymore in passing by? How long has it been since you broke it off? If its early then its going to take you many months too even a year to get over such hurt. You have to believe it wasnt your fault she did what she did. You have to try moving on and meeting new people. The pain will subside when you let go of her in your heart.Good Luck..
Rocky
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