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Rank: Newbie Groups: Member
Joined: 12/12/2007 Posts: 2
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my ex and i have been talkng for years, the relationship ended badly, yet we have continued to remain in contact for years. Recently she had started to say that i didnt realize how much she appriciated me and i was there when she needed me most, and that she never was just using me etc...recently she was told that i was seeing someone, which was not true. i had not talked to her during that time only because she had changed her number. I started to recieve texts from a number i didnt reconize and didnt answer it, but when i did i said i didnt know who this was. When i knew it was her i had told her that i wasnt seeing anyone and dont believe what you here. Well she started to text me again but i didnt respond because im very busy. I had asked her about a week later if she was going to pay back a loan i had made her, in which she replied that she didnt know who this was and to grow up, and that i was bipolar, etc. Also that for ever action there will be a reaction, and that ! i was making a threats towards her becuase i believed she owed me something. this all took place within 9days of her texting me hello. I think she got hurt when she heard i was seeing someone and it made it even worse when i didnt respond to her afterwards. why would she turn on me so fast considering just a few months ago she was being so nice. We both see other people but why would she still want to talk to me, and vice versa. I cant figure out if i still care for her, and she for me.
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Member
Joined: 12/11/2007 Posts: 107 Location: Northwoods of Wisconsin - BEAUTIFUL country
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Sometimes a person just doesn't know how to really let go, especially when there were control issues during the relationship.
Got a question for you, you say she turned mean when you asked her about the loan? Maybe it wasn't about the jealousy but the responsibility to you that upset her. If you cancelled the loan, do you think she would be nice again? Just my thoughts.......
You can convince yourself that there is still something between you or you can replay why it didn't work out and leave her in the past..... choice is yours.
happy thoughts....... peggy m
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 Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Member
Joined: 12/12/2007 Posts: 117 Location: South-East Oklahoma
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Peggys right, to a point that goes right to the scars you left each other. Fundementally, unless you found someone/somthing you can feel as intense or more intense for, moving on, letting go, learning your lessons, becomes QUITE impossible. Usually time has a habit of allowing the feelings we feel for someone or something to sort of loss their.... importance? potiecy? intensity! SO naturally we can heal. But until then, be asured its going to be a constant yo-yo effect ESPACIALLY if you did a great job. And ESPACIALLY if she continues to fail herself in her own development. In other words, until she can find something to hold on too that she feels the same for you about, she'll always be back to you. Such is the consequences of "true" love, were the love is based on the fact that you are better in her life then anything else she has found, the problem your running into is her inability to know HOW to use those feelings she feels for you.... a harmful arrangement if you can't atleast talk about that fact, anything less, is pure pain......
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Member
Joined: 12/11/2007 Posts: 107 Location: Northwoods of Wisconsin - BEAUTIFUL country
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Once again 'brutal', your approach to these issues is phenomenal!
It answers much about why exes return.
happy thoughts....... peggy m
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 Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Member
Joined: 12/17/2007 Posts: 245 Location: Florida
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Hi Don't know why you both became ex's. You have to ask yourself that question. sometimes ex's should stay ex's for whatever reasons why you became ex's in the first place. when she was saying about not appreciating her, maybe she was finally expressing how she felt..But i would think after two years of talking you both would of gotten everything out in the open. When she felt you were seeing someone else she changes her number, that is very childest, if she wanted to maybe get back with you, she wouldnt of ran without you being able to explain.Then she texts you , because she wanted to try to catch you in the act.She seems to be playing head games with you.Then when you asked her about paying a loan back she pretended she didnt know who you were. You had texted her before and im sure you had same number not like her changing her number. And then saying not nice things.I had a friend who dumped his gf because of certain reasons but she never let him go until she found someone two years later. She would follow him and go too his house and cause alot of trouble. He would be dating someone and she would follow him to the store and this went on and on..He felt bad for her, so this is why he put up with it.He basily put his life on hold until she found someone. Is this what you want? You either need to lose contact all together with her or deal with what you have to deal with. You say your not sure if you care about her, im sure you both care about eachother but it's not love , it's just like a habit, you've been together for awhile and now you have talked to eachother for two years.You both really never let go..You have to make up your mind and decide.You both need to move on with your life.
Rocky
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Member
Joined: 1/10/2008 Posts: 18 Location: Pickering
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Remember the reason she is your ex! I wouldn't want a relationship where we were arguing all of the time. By the sound of things you are arguing by text messages! What would it be like in person??
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