My best friend and I have dated twice now. He approached me out of the blue about his feelings for me so I gave it a chance. We get along great, so well in fact that we have made some of our married friends jealous. Too many people ask me about the two of us all the time because they think that we should give things a real shot or we just make them uncomfortable. He backed off saying that basically that he was confused and that he was scared of the life style changes that come with a relationship. I took some time away from him because even when I act more distant he still behaves as though we are dating. It makes it very confusing for me. I don't know what to make of him because most of the time he does try to act like we are still dating. I know that I'm not just a booty call because in the months that we have dated we always took things very slowly and it's never been about that but his behaviors make this all very confusing. I don't want to waste time just to get my feel! ings hurt or pass up a great opportunity somewhere else because somebody assumes that I'm taking. Do I confront him about this, wait it out or just let it go?

It's still new. Breath!

You say you and he always took things slow, so what's the hurry now?

I believe actions speak louder than words. Just because he "says" one thing (confused - not ready) and does another (acts like you and he are dating) tells me that he is leaning on the committed side. Keep taking it slow. Learn the language that's all about actions.

Being friends first is a perfect foundation to build a life long committed relationship on. Yes things change. You grow. Stay comfortable in your relationship and keep communicating with him. He may "say" he's not ready but his actions speak differently.

I think he is just struggling with his "idea" of being in a committed relationship with you and he doesn't yet recognize that he is already in it! It's going to dawn on him sooner or later and when the shock of it hits you can smile and say you knew it before he did! Keep letting him know where you are at in the relationship and it's okay to tell him you are ready for it to go a little deeper. He may continue to say he isn't ready. Watch for his actions. The words will come when he is ready to admit them.

You have a lifetime ahead of you. There really is no rush!

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happy thoughts.......
peggy m

I believe that you should just confront him about how you are feeling and find out what he is feeling and wants....

Life is too short to waist on someone who doesn't know if they are coming or going... It's not fair to neither one of you.. Either he wants in or wants out... Let him know you care for him, but you need to know where things stand. If he still doesn't know or wants you to wait.. Then just let it go. If it's meant to be, it will happen....

Good Luck and God Bless!