Do Relationships Get Easier With Time and Age?

REALationship.com Expert Rinatta Paries

Does the quest for love, and the issues we bring to the table when it comes to love, change and get easier with time and age?

You would think so, and the conventional wisdom says so. The conventional wisdom says people mature and get wiser with age and over time, naturally opening up more to others and learning how to have better relationships. However, this is not what I find when I look out into the world of singles and relationships, observe the media and work with clients.

What I find is this: Those people who started out with good relationship and self-introspection skills get better at these skills with age and time. But those people who didn’t start out with a good set of relationship and self-introspection skills do not get better at relationships. They want to, desperately so, but it just doesn’t happen for them no matter how much they age or how much time passes.

I just got an email from a 60 plus year old gentleman requesting relationship help because he and a lady he was dating rushed into a romance very quickly and now the lady is pulling away. He doesn’t know what to do. I get the same kind of email from 20 year olds, 30 year olds and so on down the line.

My point here is not to deny that time, age and wisdom tend to go hand and hand. I do believe people get wiser with time and age, if they have a set of skills to build their wisdom on. But regardless of your age and the passage of time, if you want to improve your chances of attracting and keeping love, or saving a relationship you are in, the only way to do that is to learn relationship and self-introspection skills.

Creating a healthy relationship and being a healthy, functional person in a relationship are not natural, innate skills, any more than managing money or writing or being a lawyer are. These are skills that need to be learned.

Well, what are these relationship and self-introspection skills that people need to learn in order to be successful in relationships?

There are many skills and different people are deficient in different areas. However, there is a common set of skills that most people having trouble with relationships tend to lack. In fact, I was going to give you the list of skills here, but – and you are going to think I am holding out on you – no words I could come up would do justice to the skill set you need to learn.

Every time I went to write down the set of skills, I could see you, dear reader, reading this and the list that was to follow, saying, oh, yes, these would be good skills to have. Then I could see you moving on and paying no mind to what you just read.

So I will tell you what. How about you come up with a set of skills that are missing for you? I will help you by leaving you with a couple of questions:

What holes do you repeatedly find yourself in when it comes to relationships? And what skills or knowledge or ability do you keep wishing for?

-By Love Coach Rinatta Paries