Going In Different Directions

REALationship.com Expert Christine Fife

Ever been in a romantic relationship and come to a point when you feel like you’re hardly spending any time together because you both are involved in different activities? Or maybe you aren’t agreeing on what you should do for date nights? You want to go to a nice dinner and he wants to hang out at a sports bar? Sound familiar? Then I’ve got some advice for you. 

First, don’t panic. Just because you aren’t spending loads of time doing joint activities or having trouble compromising on dates doesn't mean your relationship is headed for the toilet. Think about your own interests and goals at different times in your life. You’ll probably notice that during different times you were more active in different activities and were more interested in different types of dates. That’s normal. Most people go through periods in their life when they are more involved in activities then other times. Going through phases of different interests can be good and help you grow as a person.  

Second, don’t let your mind run away with you just because he wants to play touch football all winter with his buddies or she wants to take an art class. Or maybe she wants to play on a volleyball team all summer and he wants to take a photography class. Just because you’re going in different directions right now doesn’t mean you have to end things. Maybe when the summer or semester end you’ll find a hobby you can do together.

Even when you’re both involved in different classes or hobbies or sports you can still share that experience with each other. Think of it this way, you’ll have a lot more to talk about and share with one another when you are together. However, if neither of you want to hear about your significant other’s classes or games then maybe there is a bigger issue you should discuss. If you or your partner is interested enough in something to devote your time and efforts to it, but the other person doesn’t care anything about your experience in that activity than that is something worth worrying about. 

If it has been a really long time since you’ve been able to agree on what to do for date night or you haven’t joined up to do any activities all year, again, don’t worry. Relationships don’t just happen. They require work from both sides. If this is the situation you find your relationship in, than make the effort to work towards finding something you can do together than makes both of you happy.

If you’re relationship is a strong one and it’s been too long since you’ve spent quality time together than this should be a priority. You should both consider scheduling time to do something you both like. Maybe get back to the basics—try the activities you did when you first started dating. There must have been something you did together than made you fall in love with one another.

I’ve seen countless articles and talk shows and movies and novels that highlight how important it is to schedule time for yourself, but it’s also important to schedule time for your relationship too. Don’t just let it drift by, take action.

-By Christine Fife