REALationship.com Expert Christine
Ever been in a romantic relationship and come to a
point when you feel like you’re hardly spending any time together
because you both are involved in different activities? Or maybe you
aren’t agreeing on what you should do for date nights? You want to go to
a nice dinner and he wants to hang out at a sports bar? Sound familiar?
Then I’ve got some advice for you.
First, don’t panic. Just because you aren’t
spending loads of time doing joint activities or having trouble
compromising on dates doesn't mean your relationship is headed for the
toilet. Think about your own interests and goals at different times in
your life. You’ll probably notice that during different times you were
more active in different activities and were more interested in
different types of dates. That’s normal. Most people go through periods
in their life when they are more involved in activities then other
times. Going through phases of different interests can be good and help
you grow as a person.
Second, don’t let your mind run away with you just
because he wants to play touch football all winter with his buddies or
she wants to take an art class. Or maybe she wants to play on a
volleyball team all summer and he wants to take a photography class.
Just because you’re going in different directions right now doesn’t mean
you have to end things. Maybe when the summer or semester end you’ll
find a hobby you can do together.
Even when you’re both involved in different classes
or hobbies or sports you can still share that experience with each
other. Think of it this way, you’ll have a lot more to talk about and
share with one another when you are together. However, if neither of you
want to hear about your significant other’s classes or games then maybe
there is a bigger issue you should discuss. If you or your partner is
interested enough in something to devote your time and efforts to it,
but the other person doesn’t care anything about your experience in that
activity than that is something worth worrying about.
If it has been a really long time since you’ve been
able to agree on what to do for date night or you haven’t joined up to
do any activities all year, again, don’t worry. Relationships don’t just
happen. They require work from both sides. If this is the situation you
find your relationship in, than make the effort to work towards finding
something you can do together than makes both of you happy.
If you’re relationship is a strong one and it’s
been too long since you’ve spent quality time together than this should
be a priority. You should both consider scheduling time to do something
you both like. Maybe get back to the basics—try the activities you did
when you first started dating. There must have been something you did
together than made you fall in love with one another.
I’ve seen countless articles and talk shows and
movies and novels that highlight how important it is to schedule time
for yourself, but it’s also important to schedule time for your
relationship too. Don’t just let it drift by, take action.
-By Christine Fife
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