My Best Friend or Two or Ten

REALationship.com Expert Christine Fife

For some unknown reason, at least in America, we have cultivated the idea that everyone should have a “best” friend. But why? Why just one? Why can’t we have multiple “best” friends? And what does it mean if they are our “best” friend?

It might be worthwhile to look at the bigger friendship picture. If you Google for “Best Friend” you’d probably be surprised at the search results you get. The second highest result is for Best Friends Animal Society. Another top hit was the Best Friends Pet Resort and Salon. Is this trying to tell us that the only “best” friends come on four legs? The top result, at least today, is for Indiachild.com which seems to be a place where people post quotes and poems about friendship, and oh yes, a place where you can find links to buy “best friend” t-shirts.

In furthering my online surfing for the best “best friend” information, I didn’t find much to prove that a “best” friend, and only one, is what everyone must have. For the most part, I only found more quotes, blogs, websites, and the like that spoke about friendship in general. And as I sit here on my couch, watching the latest reality TV shows, the only sponsored AdWords link appearing on my Google quest for “best friends” is by AOL music.

“The best friend is the man who in wishing me well—wishes it for my sake,” said Aristotle. Our philosophical Greek friend didn’t say “My” best friend wishes me well and it seems to me that many people out there will wish me well and wish it for my sake and not for their own. 

What my simple and clearly not exhaustive research on “best” friends didn’t clear up for me was what does it mean for someone to be a best friend, anyway. So I turned to my own friends. Not surprise to me, was to discover that most of them don’t relate to having just one “best” friend. They all seemed to indicate that they have more than one great friend and those friends fulfill enhance different aspects of their lives. Brian has the fondest memories of his closest friend from grade school, but he had to say that his wife is now his closest friend because they have a special partnership as a married couple. Kelly instantly told me who her best friend was, then went on to tell me about 47 other best friends that she couldn’t imagine life without. 

So what should we gleam from this lack of interesting online hubbub dedicated to the “best” friend? Perhaps we should consider that the universe doesn’t agree with the single best friend concept. Branch out. Meet new people. Accept that you can have more than one great friend and if you don’t have at least one “best” friend, that’s ok too. When all is said and done, do you want just one person out there singing your praises or would you rather make the most of every friendship.

-By Christine Fife